Readers. Let us for a moment imagine that we live in a society that is crippled with corruption. And let us imagine for another, that, after more than a year of taking the country for a ride with the use of endless delaying tactics, bare faced lies and political trapeze artistry, a Prime Minister has finally been forced to pull the plug. People accuse the man of running out of corruption-proofing membrane and of being unable to plug the multiple leaks, ignored over the past years, which now threaten to burst the banks of his office and drag him out in an uncontrollable vortex of swirling, filthy water.
Others say he is a victim. His gallantry so endless, that he has forfeited one fifth of his rule for the sake of the country’s name, stability, economy. Order.
Pause. Rewind: What were his options?
Lie. Consistantly and try to stick to one version. Cover up the mess dead quick with maximum damage limitation precautions and while you’re at it, fire decoys constantly to deflect and divert public’s attention. Ensure the invaluable help of all institutions created to prevent, sniff, identify and prosecute the wrongdoers. Hire, rotate, transfer and fire till you find your man. Of course they’re not autonomous. They just appear to be so.This one looks like he’s in control. Bump him up elsewhere. Increase his salary by a few thousand euro and he’ll definitely bite the bait. Done. Identify someone you know to be one of ours and while you’re at it ensure he’s the dullest of the lot. You don’t want him asking any questions do you? He’s perfect. He’s useless. Sweet guy though. Harmless. Well, when he stops being nice, he’s launched.
Problem. That one looks serious. Make it impossible for him to stay, surround him by more semi literate oafs and before you know it… poof…he’s gone… too proud to stay….too straight. He’ll hand in his resignation and you can then have him replaced. By another one of ours, of course. Bingo. Thats the one. So long as he has a pulse, he’ll fit the bill. What about her? She’s has been there for ever and doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere dispite our best efforts. She’s dedicated, hard-working, honest, the lot. Well, we’ll have to ride this one out. Disable her. Disarm her. And watch her flap aimlessly. And if none of the above works…make her ambassador. Get her out of the country. Compromise her. Compromise a member of her family. Anything.
Then, one day, if you happen to run out of lies and those banks look like they are bursting, call an election. Minimum 33 days from dissolution of parliament to election date. Take that option….no time to lose. Promise the earth. Never admit fault. People don’t care. People like us. People believe us. Promise the earth. It will all be over soon. They’ll forget. If we believe it, they will. Promise the earth. Promise the earth. Repeat after me. Promise the earth. Its working. Its working. Promise the earth. They believe. They believed. We did it.